Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Finding strength to love my postpartum pregnancy body

I've been deciding whether or not to share this for several months, not because how others will think but because how I feel. I'm showing you my vulnerable side but honestly I feel like I'm also being more honest with you all and I really want to do that through my blog, I want you to learn who I am, , to know how I really feel and relate to others on different subjects. So her it goes my first "open" post.


I've been struggling with something  lately and that's been my weight. As you can tell in the title of this blog post I'm trying to find strength to love my post pregnancy body. I know I know I just had a baby almost a year ago , I should relax right? Well I ain't doing that and I'm digging deep to find strength within myself to love my new body.

Before I go into this I want to mention that I am beyond blessed that I was able to have my little boy , I would do it a thousand more times, heck I miss labor (not the contraction) but seeing Mason's for the first time! It was a beautiful experience and I loved seeing my bump grow and grow. During pregnancy I didn't think about my weight, since I knew that Mason was growing and my body was making room for a baby to arrive, and let's be honest the cravings were necessary right? I mean I was having to feed another human and because I was so sick with morning sickness I felt the need to eat more since It was so hard to keep anything down! I was told that after having Mason I would still look pregnant and again I was okay with that, my body needed to adjust no longer having a baby and well all my internal body parts needed to be put back in its rightful place haha. Well it's summer time and I don't go out to much since i just wanted to stay inside and soak it all in having a newborn, and plus it was so hot outside that I didn't want to be miserable lol. So I told myself when it gets cooler I will workout again, well that didn't happen, I kept telling myself I would but didn't , I kept going on walks everyday and then one bad weather day seemed to ruin it and my routine would be thrown off. I kept hearing that oh it can take 9 months to work off your post baby body since you carried a baby for 9 months.... that didn't happen. I cannot tell you how much I kept telling myself that okay baby weight is hard to lose your fine. But to be honest It's harder than it seems. Never have I felt just dislike for body and didn't know why I was feeling this way since hello I just had a baby , he's healthy and so am I, what's the problem?

I saw the stretch marks thinking why haven't they gone away? I still have a pouch. I looked back at old photos from highschool or pre-baby and thought wow look how skinny I was, look at my soccer and track days. I kept remembering how my body use to look like before having a baby and it wasn't good. I mean we all miss things in our life but what if that is preventing us from seeing what it is now? I felt like I was being consumed by celebrity moms bouncing back from having a baby. Silly I know. But it's true!

It's so hard in this day in age to not compare yourself to others around you, I thought well if that mom looks great after pregnancy why cant I. I was in this state of denial as to why my body wasn't looking the way I wanted it to. I know it was my fault as well though, I procrastinated working out and I know not having a good diet didn't help either... but to be honest all my mind could think about was one sentence... "Why don't I look the way I use to." For some reason I didn't get why this sentence couldn't magically rant itself...My inner thought would say hurtful things about how I looked on the outside.. "You have so many stretch marks", "You're not pretty enough" and so on.. for the first time I felt hurt by my own words.

One day around a month ago, I heared and finally believed three special words, "You are Beautiful"Since struggling with how I felt with my body post mason, my husband would always try to lift me up with his words of affirmation telling me I was beautiful, but a month ago my brain and my heart finally matched up with what my husband had been saying all this time, "You are Beautiful". Yes I just had a baby a year ago, Look at him... he is healthy and the most happiest boy I have ever laid my eyes upon! So what if I have stretch marks, they will go away some day and if they don't that's okay because guess what?! You had a baby! Don't compare yourself how other moms look, your body is uniquely beautiful, and all of us moms no matter how we look after having a baby, are beautiful!

My all of a sudden loving my postpartum body didn't happen the next day, but it took week and months to loving it. I had to find strength for myself to love the new beautiful body I had now, to love my skin and to not judge how it looked. I was and am proud of the beautiful journey I was able to go with mason, I cannot tell you how much I love being a mother, it has strengthen me in way I didn't think I could find strength within myself. He has made me into the person I want to be. He has opened my eyes to see more beauty and happiness, just like how he sees it in his eyes. I am one blessed mother, I couldn't emphasize that anymore!

Sure it can be hard to love our bodies after having a baby, it make take days, weeks, months or years, but I promise you if you take a moment to look at your little miracle(s) you just may understand how I now feel. You are beautiful, you survived pregnancy, and you have a beautiful child! You go momma! Try to not stress about how your body looks like right now, don't look at other moms and how they look, don't fall into pressure about how and when you will lose the stretch marks or the weight, just be the best emotionally and physically healthy you can be, and love the bundle of joy you have in your arms. As for me and continuing to love my postpartum body, I've been eating and feeling healthier, we go on more runs and i'll do these

workouts not to get my post baby body back but to feel great again and love my new body. If you ever feel like you need some words of encouragement or want to share your love for your body post baby feel free to send me a message on my social media channels, or comment below! Love you all beautiful mommas!

3 comments:

  1. It is so easy for us to be so hard on ourselves. But being a mom is the greatest blessing and is worth sacrificing our body. I have to keep remembering that.

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  2. I love that you opened up about this! More women need to know that it's normal to have these feelings!

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